WHEN TRADE WAS SLOW

AUSSIE OUTBACK TOILET

                  Only those who have used an outside toilet will appreciate this.

The service station trade was slow

The owner sat around,

With sharpened knife and cedar stick

Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they there,

The log across the rill

Led to a shack, marked His and Hers

That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies lavatory, sir?"

The owner leaning back,

Said not a word but whittled on,

And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there

But only stayed a minute,

Until she screamed, just like a snake

Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face

She bounded through the door,

And headed quickly for the car

Just like three Sheila's did before.

She missed the foot bridge - jumped the stream

The owner gave a shout,

As her silk stockings, down at her knees

Caught on an acacia sprout.

She tripped and fell - got up, and then

In obvious disgust,

Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,

And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know

What made the gals all do

The things they did, and then we found

The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised

To make the thing complete,

He tied a speaker on the wall

Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the dams got set

And then the devilish tike,

Would stop his whittling long enough,

To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below

Struck terror, fright and fear,

"Will you please use the other hole,

We're painting under here!"

More of the above in this great book

Available now as an EBook from:
Amazon or Smashwords

GPS TRACKING

Satellites to be used to track offenders

NZ NewswireUpdated June 27, 2012, 10:58 am

Satellite tracking of high-risk offenders released from prison will begin in New Zealand in August, the government has announced.

Corrections Minister Anne Tolley says the introduction of the global positioning technology in ankle bracelets will initially involve 11 child sex offenders released into the community on supervision orders or on parole.

That number will rise to up to 200 in 2013, and will include high-risk offenders yet to be released, and those already in the community.

No change in legislation is required.

The move comes before the release from prison of serial offender Stewart Murray Wilson, dubbed the Beast of Blenheim.

Wilson will be freed on September 1, after serving two-thirds of his 21-year sentence, imposed in 1996 for a variety of sexual offences against women and children over a 25-year period, including rape, attempted rape and indecent assault.

He was sentenced before preventive detention laws were introduced and will be released subject to strict conditions that apply up to 2015.

The Probation Service has also applied to the High Court for Wilson to be put on an extended supervision order that would allow him to be closely monitored for up to a decade beyond 2015.

"We need to stay one step ahead of these people and this proactive approach with more advanced technology allows us to reduce the risks to the public," said Mrs Tolley.

"We must do all we can to keep our communities safe, and GPS tracking is an excellent way to tighten up extended supervision orders, and keep tabs on the small number of offenders who require much closer monitoring."

The existing electronic monitoring system only works when those wearing it are at a set location.

The government is also planning public protection orders, enabling Corrections to keep the most dangerous offenders in prison indefinitely, and is considering creating a register of child sex offenders.

Peter’s Comment

What a great idea.

There must be many ways that GPS tracking of offenders could be expanded. For example why not have GPS tracking of people convicted of hit-and-run offences and drivers who have failed to stop when instructed by police. That would effectively end dangerous police pursuits.

The system could be further expanded to reduce offending by requiring the installation of remote disabling equipment in all repeat offenders’ cars. Voluntary installation of the equipment could lead to lower insurance premiums for car owners.

Let’s have GPS tracking of vehicles for a safer society all round.

IMMIGRANTS

Famous People Who Fought Immigration Battles, From John Lennon to Charlie Chaplin

By JILLIAN FAMA and MEGHAN KIESEL

June 26, 2012

ABCNEWS.com

The Dreamers aren't the only ones who have feared being deported from the United States. Check out some famous people who have had their battles with American immigration authorities.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono

John Lennon and Yoko Ono

In an interview with ABC News' Jonathan Karl, Yoko Ono told how she and her husband, the former Beatle John Lennon, were served with deportation papers early one morning in March 1972. After the couple refused to open their door, officers slipped the notice under the door to them. Ono's reaction, she said, was, "What are we going to do? You know, it was really frightening."

The couple was served the deportation order because U.S. officials said Lennon had been allowed into the country improperly. He had been charged with possession of marijuana in London in 1968, and U.S. law said no one with a criminal record was allowed to come live in the country.

A number of famous names put pen to paper, writing letters to President Nixon to try to convince him to allow Lennon and his artist wife to stay in New York.

Nixon, who didn't particularly like the outspoken anti-war activist couple -- they had campaigned against his reelection -- was not swayed. In 1973, Lennon was given 60 days to leave the U.S. Ono was granted permanent residence.

Watergate, however, intervened. Nixon's successor, Gerald Ford, wasn't interested in continuing a political battle with Lennon. In October 1975, a three-judge panel ruled that the possession charge was insufficient to keep Lennon out of the country. Lennon was awarded a green card in 1976.

Cat Stevens

The British singer Yusuf Islam, formerly known by his stage name, Cat Stevens, was barred from entering the United States in 2004. The singer was placed on the U.S. government's "no fly" list and taken off a flight from London to Washington because of suspicions that he was associated with potential terrorists.

His flight, on a United Airlines Boeing 747, was diverted to Bangor, Maine, where he was detained by FBI agents.

Islam said, "Everybody knows who I am. I am no secret figure. Everybody knows my campaigning for charity, for peace. There's got to be a whole lot of explanation."

Charlie Chaplin

Charlie Chaplin

Charlie Chaplin, perhaps the most beloved of comic actors from the silent film era, ran afoul of American politicians -- and immigration authorities -- after World War II, when he satirized anti-communist fears in the United States during the Cold War.

A 1949 Associated Press story says that in May of 1949, Sen. Harry Cain (R-Wash.) demanded that Chaplin, a native of England, be deported, and accused him of coming "perilously close to treason" against the United States.

Cain cited a telegram sent by Chaplin to the French artist Pablo Picasso concerning the deportation of German composer Hanns Eisler. The message read, "Can you head committee of French artists to protest the American Embassy in Paris the outrageous deportation proceedings against Hanns Eisler here and simultaneously send me a copy of protest for use here. Greetings!"

In 1952, Chaplin returned to England for the premiere of his film, "Limelight," and learned that his re-entry permit request was denied. Chaplin died on Christmas 1977, never having returned to the United States.

Jose Antonio Vargas

Jose Antonio Vargas, a reporter whose coverage of the 2007 Virginia Tech massacre who a Pulitzer Prize, admitted to ABC's Dan Harris that he is an illegal immigrant. A native of the Philippines, Vargas came to the U.S. alone at age 12 to live with his grandparents. He admits to having broken laws to conceal his undocumented identity. He also said he obtained various documents under false pretenses, including a falsified Social Security card and an Oregon driver's license.

Vargas defended himself: "You have to do what you have to do... I wanted to work. I wanted to prove that I was worthy of being here … and I was gonna do whatever it took to prove that."

Vargas decided to make his undocumented status public last December when Congress did not pass the DREAM Act.
Continued below . . .

The Asker Trilogy

Vargas said he has fears about being deported, but calls America his home. “You can call me whatever you want to call me, but I am an American," Vargas said. "No one can take that away from me. No, no one can."

Hanns Eisler

Composer Hanns Eisler came to the U.S. in 1933, when he fled Nazi Germany. Eisler had studied with a number of respected composers, but broke with his early mentor, Arnold Schoenberg, in 1926. Eisler's compositions turned radical: He wrote music for many of Bertholt Brecht's plays up until his flight from Germany.

Eisler found success composing music for films in the States. However, his past came back to haunt him during the Red Scare of the late 1940s. After testifying before the House Committee on Un-American Activities, Eisler was deported in 1948. He settled in East Berlin and continued to compose, but eventually was persecuted by the German government for what they considered his blasphemous retelling of "Faust."

Marcus Garvey

Marcus Garvey was an activist originally from Jamaica. By the time he reached his mid-teens, Garvey had moved to Kingston and started to participate in union activities. He spent time working as a journalist in Central America before moving to London for a time to continue his education. While studying at the University of London, Garvey wrote for The African Times and Orient Review, which was strongly supportive of pan-African nationalism. This inspired him to return to Jamaica, where he founded the Universal Negro Improvement Association in 1912.

Garvey's activities brought him into contact with Booker T. Washington, and Garvey traveled to New York in 1916 to learn from Washington's efforts. Within three years, Garvey had established a UNIA chapter in New York and founded the Black Star Line and Negroes Factories Association. All three organizations continued to grow.

In 1922, accusations of mail fraud and accounting errors plagued the Black Star Line, and Garvey was sentenced to five years in prison on June 23, 1923. He was deported upon his release in 1927. He continued his work from Jamaica and, later, London, before he died in 1940.

Yvonne De Carlo

Canadian actress Carlo moved to Hollywood with her mother at the age of 18 in 1940. De Carlo danced in chorus lines to make ends meet until she was caught in 1940 and deported back to Canada. The chorus line company she had been dancing with, however, offered a letter of sponsorship, which allowed De Carlo to return to the U.S. and continue her quest for fame in Hollywood.

De Carlo landed her first role in a feature film in 1941. She took on a number of small roles until finally getting her big break in 1945's "Salome Where She Danced." She continued to hold down leading roles in American films for the next 30 years. She also became a TV star for her role on "The Munsters."

De Carlo died in 2007 at the age of 84.

Peter’s Point of View

Why were these people persecuted?

They were persecuted by racial and nationalist prejudice. It’s a common situation all over the world (not just the United States) and it does nothing to advance the quality of life for anyone, or even any nation, anywhere.

The examples above tell the stories of a few people who battled the authorities in America, made good and became famous. But their stories are typical of millions all over the world who fought the same battles and made good without becoming famous.

Throughout history immigrants have helped build great nations and will continue to do so in the future. It appalls me that so many of the opponents of immigration have never got off their backsides and gone out to see the world, meet people of other races and cultures. If they did most would stop seeing their tiny part of the world through a tunnel.

The free flow of labor, goods and services is always accepted as reasonable between one town and the next, so why not between one country and the next and between all countries?

Please post your comments, or connect with Peter on Facebook or Twitter

The Biography of an Extraordinary Sailor

The Story Of Sir Peter Blake

By Tessa Duder

Peter Blake was a New Zealand hero – sailor, adventurer, leader and environmentalist. 

Competing in ocean races, he clocked up as many sea miles as any seafarer in history, with some epic victories. Then he led his small country to win the America’s Cup (twice!), and gave his last years to helping the environment. 

Award-winning author Tessa Duder tells the gripping story of Sir Peter’s life for teenage readers, revealing what made him an inspirational leader. The book features boxes backgrounding sailing skills, the America’s Cup and other key points, and is richly illustrated with photos from his life (including 8 pages of color).

Author’s Bio: Tessa Duder is one of New Zealand’s most celebrated children’s authors, and has written more than 40 books in genres from junior fiction to adult history. Among her best-known works are the Alex quartet and her biography of Margaret Mahy. A keen sailor, she lives in Auckland.
From Chapbook published by the New Zealand Society of Authors http://www.authors.org.nz

Peter’s Comment

I met Sir Peter Blake once just before his untimely death and felt obliged to tell him about an unusual episode that I was involved in sometime earlier.

There was a sailor’s birthday party in progress at Auckland’s Royal Akarana Yacht Club and the clubhouse was getting a bit noisy when a man joined my table.

I introduced myself as Peter Blakeborough and the new arrival quickly vanished again but returned moments later with a beer for me. We struggled to make conversation in the noisy environment, but before I had finished the beer he had another lined up for me.

“You don’t have to buy beer for me,” I told him.

He replied, “If you are Peter Blake’s brother I’ll happily buy beer for you all night.”

When I related this to the famous sailor he laughed and said, “So you must be saying that you owe me a beer. I’ll take you up on that sometime.”

We never met again and then the unthinkable happened when he was killed by Amazon pirates.

The Story of Sir Peter Blake will be a great book to read and treasure and it comes from one of New Zealand’s best authors.

WIDE LOADS

Ask Phoebe: Pilot vehicle allows 10 second warning

By Phoebe Falconer New Zealand Herald

5:30 AM Tuesday Jun 26, 2012

The pilot vehicle should allow traffic travelling in the opposite direction five to 10 seconds notice of the wide load. Photo / Thinkstock

Last month, my friend and I were driving down New North Rd near Pak'n Save (New Zealand supermarket chain) late at night. We encountered a house being moved on the back of a trailer reasonably fast which almost took up the entire four lanes. A pilot vehicle with a "large load follows" sign hardly gave us enough warning and we had to drive on to the footpath to escape. Is this legal?

- Lydia Jarman, Mt Albert, Auckland, New Zealand

The Transport Agency's load pilot driver code says that the pilot vehicle should allow traffic travelling in the opposite direction five to 10 seconds' notice of the wide load. Any longer than this and approaching drivers may think there is no hazard or forget about it. Approaching drivers need to be able to see the pilot vehicle from a distance of at least three times the speed limit, or three times the limit on that section of road, in meters.

Highway America

Peter’s Comment

There is a major, largely unrecognized, problem with driving laws that use time and distance measurements; many drivers have no comprehension of time and distance. Ten seconds or fifty meters means absolutely nothing to them.

I have noticed a wide variation in the warning distance and time for wide-load warning vehicles and also for signs warning of road works ahead.

This lack of comprehension must also extend to the bureaucrats who decided that the warning time for wide loads should be 5-10 seconds. Allowing for reaction time, many drivers traveling at the speed limit will be underneath the wide load before five seconds is up.

Estimating time and distance should be a standard part of driver training and testing.

SPEED BUMPS

A speed bump to make you go faster!

RAIL OR REALITY

Luxury rail travel planned for big spenders

By Abby Gillies NZ Herald

Passengers may soon be able to board a luxury Orient Express-style train to travel the length of New Zealand - at a cost of up to $1500 a day.

Businessmen John Johnston and Dave Nixon, who are directors of South Pacific Express, are behind the planned venture that would cater to foreign tourists with a big budget.

The pair are looking to buy a train previously used by Orient Express in Queensland and are also in negotiations with KiwiRail over the deal, said Nixon.

If it goes ahead, passengers will be able to board the luxury sleeper train from early 2013.

The service would be "comparable to a five-star moving hotel" that would stop at tourist spots to allow passengers to do activities such as salmon fishing, golf and wine tours.

For $1000-$1500, they would have access to all of the services they would receive in a hotel and some activities would also be included, said Mr Nixon.

The idea was proposed at a meeting in Whangarei last night that was held to discuss plans to consider closing the line.

The proposal could be the savior of the Auckland-Northland rail line, say supporters, because KiwiRail is reviewing the future of the line along with several others that are unprofitable.

"We hope all rail lines will stay open so we can showcase New Zealand to its full potential," said Nixon.

Spokeswoman for support group Save the Auckland to Northland Rail Line Vivienne Shepherd said the luxury service would be "fantastic" and could save the line.

"It gives us a glimmer of hope that the line would be left open,' she said.

Rail was a more effective and efficient way to transport heavy loads and could investing in it would ease pressure on roads, she said.

A petition with 13,000 signatures from people protesting a closure of the line was presented to Parliament last week, said Miss Shepherd.

Labour's Tourism spokesman Kelvin Davis said the plan was a "brilliant idea" and one of a range of options KiwiRail and the Government should be considering.

"Keeping the line open and viable is something the community wants - because they say it is their line, not Steven Joyce's - and they have come up with a whole heap of viable suggestions to do just that," he said.

KiwiRail was expected to make a decision about the line's future in about six months.

The train would be pitched to high-value foreign visitors as a moving hotel that would show them the best of New Zealand and across all of the regions.

If the northern line was closed it would not stop the planned luxury service going ahead, said Nixon.

Compare the above article with the one below:

Death of Orient Express no mystery

By Simon Calder, NZ Herald

The victim is 117 years old, much loved and respected, and can tell a thousand tales of intrigue and treachery.

The Orient Express

But the 21st century has not been kind to her, and now a death sentence has been served. When new international rail schedules begin on June 10, the Orient Express is to be killed off.

The train in question is the direct descendant of the service that began on October 4, 1883, taking 80 hours to reach Constantinople (now Istanbul).

Despite numerous interruptions caused by breakdown, snowdrifts, terrorism and war, Europe's greatest international train has continued to appear on timetables.

At present, it links Paris with the Romanian capital, Bucharest, twice weekly. From June, the service will end at Vienna. The body that coordinates international rail services is proposing to change the name on the reasonable grounds that it can hardly be called an express, and goes nowhere near the Orient.

The Grand Express d'Orient was a revolutionary concept, introduced by a Belgian entrepreneur and named by Georges Nagelmackers who, sadly, never became as famous as his United States counterpart George Mortimer Pullman.

At its sumptuous peak, elegant navy-blue-and-gold carriages carrying the brass crest of the Compagnie Internationale des Wagons-Lits et des Grands Express Europeens concealed interiors and fittings straight from a Victorian manor house.

Waiters clad as butlers served first-rate food and wine to a clientele who expected nothing less. Dining-car chandeliers were crystal, the cutlery was silver, the napkins were linen and the upholstery was leather.

The artistry and detail of the wooden marquetry were exquisite; the solid brass table lamps and the luggage-racks were objects of beauty.

Celebrities and spies (often one and the same person, as in the case of Mata Hari) could travel in relative luxury from the Seine to the Bosphorus.

The Orient Express, as it soon became, provided an essential link between a continent tearing itself apart - and provided plenty of opportunities for intrigue, romance and treachery. Murder was not especially commonplace aboard the express, but sex certainly was: call-girls would board en route to provide some in-train entertainment.

Despite innumerable political derailments - and an early hijack attempt - Europe's premier train kept running through most of a turbulent 20th century.

Sometimes, extraordinary demands were made in exchange for the right to pass through a country: King Ferdinand of Bulgaria, and his heir Boris, demanded the right to drive the train through their kingdom.

The introduction of cheap air travel after the Second World War began the slow decline of the Orient Express. Rolling stock from its golden days was snapped up by the operators of privately run luxury trains, including the highly successful Venice Simplon-Orient-Express, which is continuing to offer a luxury service from the Channel to the Adriatic.

At 20 minutes past midnight local time on Friday, June 8, the last ever Orient Express train will depart from Bucharest, arriving a day and a half later in Paris.

After an overnight stay, the traveler will be able to board the very first Train a Grand Vitesse covering the 770km between Paris and Marseille in three hours flat. The 21st century has begun, and there is no longer room for the relics of the 19th.

Peter’s Comment

Long distance passenger rail travel is doomed.

I can recall numerous attempts to establish luxury tourist rail services in recent years and all have failed. The commercial reality is that well-heeled tourist on luxury trains in New Zealand will succeed like fish riding bikes.

I often talk with people who believe fervently that the rail system, and all the overgrown branch lines, should be saved. But when I question them they mostly admit that they wouldn’t use it themselves. They just want it saved because of its historic value and because they just love old trains.

But all may not be lost

Kingston Flyer back on track

7:09 AM Friday Aug 12, 2011 NZ Herald

Central Otago's historic steam train the Kingston Flyer is back on track and should be carrying tourists again by October, says its new owner.

The Kingston Flyer

The old steam train has been laid up for two years after the company operating it went into receivership owing more than $4.6 million.

However, Marlborough businessman, David Bryce signed a deal to buy the train yesterday saying it was too sad to see it sitting in a yard and not being used.

"I want to get it back running again," he told the Otago Daily Times.

Mr Bryce also bought the Kingston Tavern which closed after the train stopped running. He hoped to reopen the tavern next week.

He would not say how much he paid for the train but said the deal included two steam locomotives, vintage carriages, the Kingston Tavern, storage sheds, a 14km section of track to Fairlight, six residential lots and about 80ha of land.

Mr Bryce said he was humbled to have the chance to be part of the train's heritage.

The Kingston Flyer has been a New Zealand icon since 1878 and still operates today. But since the 1950s it has had a checkered history with long periods not operating, many changes of ownership and millions of dollars lost.

RACISM FOR VOTES

NZ Herald

Saturday June 23, 2012 9:16 PM NZT

Attack on migrants thin on the facts

John Armstrong is the Herald's
chief political commentator

By John Armstrong

So much for the theory that Winston Peters was mellowing into Parliament's version of everyone's favorite, if somewhat cranky and irascible, uncle.

It was a more familiar Peters who delivered the leader's address at New Zealand First's annual convention last Sunday.

The speech was not so much a dog whistle as a wolf howl for attention. There was certainly no coded language to decipher.

His pinging of Chinese immigrants for allegedly sponging off New Zealanders by picking up state-funded super payments and other entitlements without paying any income tax was unquestionably populist - so much so that he was almost parodying himself.

Peters cited a young couple from China being able to "bring in four elderly parents who don't have to work here in the 10 years before they turn 65, yet they will all receive full New Zealand Super".

NZ First leader Winston Peters

He was unable to offer any evidence bar hearsay of his claim that 22,000 immigrants nationwide are allegedly collecting super without having paid any direct tax.

He instead rationalized his accusation of freeloading by arguing that New Zealanders needed to know all the facts about superannuation rather than being manipulated by the savings and insurance industry into believing there was a "crisis" which required an end to universality in the payment of the state-funded pension.

It all added up to a lame excuse for an attack on a segment of immigrants who are always an easy target because they are reluctant to fight back.
Continued below . . . 

THE ASKER TRILOGY

It actually did not add up at all. Peters is the one choosing not to put all the facts on the table, especially major Government policy changes affecting those applying for residency under Immigration New Zealand's family and parent categories.

While Peters rails against Chinese immigrants supposedly gobbling up the super - but then refuses to say what he would do about it - the National-led Government has quietly stolen a march on him.

His line about a migrant couple bringing four parents to New Zealand is carefully worded. It is technically correct in referring, if only obliquely, to the requirement that to be eligible for superannuation, immigrants must have lived in NZ for at least 10 years, five of those since turning 50.

Peters' statement was instead designed to leave the impression that the elderly parents of immigrants can simply swan around waiting for the day they turn 65 and the money rolls in.

The reality is that there is no plonking mum and dad on the next flight out of Beijing once one of them turns 65.

They effectively have to arrive here before they turn 55 - an age when they would expect to be working and therefore paying tax.
Full story in the Herald.

Peter’s Comment 

Winston Peters has proved time and again that his greatest skill lies in stirring up racial hatred to win votes for his party in Parliament. Fortunately, he struggles to win 5% nationwide and his influence is limited.

Praise to John Armstrong for an excellent expose.