Friday, 27 June 2014

THE POLITICS OF IMMIGRATION

They are the butt of jokes, sick emails and discrimination. But immigrants build nations and make everyone better off

Below is a list of questions that are answered in a new book, The Politics of Immigration by Jane Guskin and David L. Wilson and available from Amazon














There is nothing new about discrimination against immigrants. It has been happening since the beginning of time, and it happens all over the world. Some people become so paranoid about immigrants they organize strikes and political campaigns, and actively try to shut immigrants out of their local community.
But it is all based on false assumptions, misinformation, prejudice and ignorance. Every successful economy and every country with a high standard of living could not have achieved what they have without immigration.
There is one thing that is worse that an expanding population and that can be found in the country, region, city or town that is losing population. That always leads to unemployment, business failure, increasing crime and poverty – the very situation that exists in many countries that immigrants leave behind in their search for a better life.
The Politics of Immigration is available from Amazon: Amazon.com

How immigrants made Australia great



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Monday, 23 June 2014

CLIMATE VOTER

Climate Voters suffering from a bad case of sunstroke
Members of Parliament were asked to leave a public launch meeting of Climate Voter in Auckland, New Zealand yesterday.
The world would be capable of
producing more food, if this
was the average world temperature
This raises the immediate question of how denying entry to the people most able to help a cause, will help that cause. Is this a case of political naivety taken to the extreme? It makes me think that climate change is certainly real, but is localized to the area of political wetness behind Climate Voter ears.
When the un-elected are able to eject the elected, democracy is under threat. Is is just a short step from there to revolution, anarchy, chaos, economic collapse, wholesale poverty and all out war. Then there will be some heat.
The Climate Voters appear to believe in some form of democracy, otherwise they probably would not have ‘Voter’ as part of their name. But they claim that the elected representatives have let them down. Well, that is highly debatable. Many voters will say that Parliament has gone too far on climate change issues.
Perhaps a balanced approach does not suit the Climate Voters. Yesterday they signed up 300 members in 30 minutes and now, as New Zealand’s newest minority, they want everything done 100% their way. To them, the majority should no longer have a say.
Tornadoes did not
start with the twentieth
century
I’m not surprised to see Greenpeace associating themselves with Climate Voter. It all sounds like good old-fashioned green policy. But when they have recovered from their sunstroke they may also come to understand that ‘green’ also means something that has not arrived in perfect condition as well as immature, unskilled, lacking sound judgment, inexperienced, gullible, raw and unrefined.
If the world is getting warmer then a remedy may well found by Climate Voters all taking a quiet lie down with a cup of iced tea.





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Tuesday, 17 June 2014

GAINED IN TRANSLATION

Beijing hotel brochure translation for guests

A friend went to Beijing and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious.
She reads it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.

Getting There: 

Our rep resentative will make you wait at  air port. The bus to the hotel run along the lakeshore. Soon you will feel pleasure passing water. Youwill know that you near the hotel, because you will be go round the bend. The manager will a wait you in the entrance hall. He like intercourse with new guest.

The Hotel:

This  family hotel, so children welcome. We always please to accept adultery too. High skill nurse  available  evening to put down your children. Guest invited to conjugate in bar and expose them selves to others. Please note ladies not allowed have babies in bar. We organize social games, so no guest ever left alone to play with them self. 

The Restaurant:

Our menu carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting.. At dinner, our quartet circulate and fiddle with you. 

Your Room: 

Every room have very excellent facility for your private part. In winter, every room on heat. Each room have balcony offering view of out standing obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since  road between hotel and lake only use by pederast.

Bed 

Your bed made in accor dance with local tradition. If you have any other idea ring for please chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She very pleased to squash your shirt, blouse and under wear. If asked, she also squee ze your trouser. 

Above All: 

When you leaveus at the end of holiday, you have no hope. You struggle to forget.



Freddie Fuddpucker visited Beijing too


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Monday, 16 June 2014

NOAH'S ARK / GRAND CANYON

The Grand Canyon was created 3,500 years ago as Noah sailed by

Some religious groups must be desperate for followers and seem prepared to do or say anything to boost flagging flock numbers.

For thousands of years they have claimed that God instructed Noah to build a boat large enough to carry one male and female of every species on earth. That would be some boat! God promised to drown the whole world with rain for forty days and forty nights in an exercise we would now call ethnic cleansing or genocide.

But what God didn’t understand was that rain-drops are like money; they are made round to go round. The rain comes out of the sea and is carried over the land inside clouds where it falls on the landscape, flows down the rivers and returns to the sea. The world has a fixed amount of water and that amount cannot be increased or decreased. It can circulate and move from place to place. But it would be physically impossible for rain to inundate every place on the planet at the same time. So the tale about Noah’s Ark and forty days and nights of continuous rain everywhere is pure fable.

However, a bunch of Bible bangers have come up with a novel way to bolster belief in the Bible by associating Noah’s Ark with the creation of the Grand Canyon in Arizona. They claim that the famous landmark was created 3,500 years ago in the space of forty days, and Noah and God were responsible for that too. So were they co-conspirators on more than one momentous event? If so, their names should be permanently linked together in a single name. My suggestion is that the most suitable name would be Nogod.

Last year I learned a little about the Grand Canyon when I visited briefly on my way to the Airventure air show in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. The Canyon is one of the world’s largest and most spectacular natural features.

The Grand Canyon started forming almost 2 billion years ago when the Colorado Plateau started uplifting. The Colorado River established its course in the canyon 17 million years ago as the present day size and shape of the canyon gradually started developing. The canyon is 277 miles long, 18 miles wide in places and up to 6,000 feet deep. It’s a bit more than a gouge mark left by a stranded boat.

The Kali Gandaki Gorge in Nepal is even deeper than the Grand Canyon, but presumably Noah didn’t sail that way and God may not have been aware of its existence.

Uranium-lead dating has established the age of the multiple layers that make up the walls of the Grand Canyon. A study published in Science in 2008 revealed that the Vishnu Schist layer at the bottom of the canyon is about 2 billion years old. Other layers have been dated at 500 million years, and 230 million years old for the upper-most layers of Kaibab limestone on the canyon rim. It is estimated that the Ark may have required several forty-day re-fits during this 2 billion year period. On science, I rest my case.

However, many in the flock around the world (especially those with a good growth of wool over their eyes) will believe the biblical baloney about Noah’s boat and the Grand Canyon.





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A BRUTAL MURDER

A brutal murder on a lonely mountain track

From the pages of The Scapegoat, a novel by Peter Blakeborough


His romance with Heather was finally over. It wasn’t fair. They both wanted each other, but her parents had interfered. He was puzzled by the way she had given Maureen the message to pass on to him. It just wasn’t like Heather to do that. He wondered if there was something else he should know about. Perhaps he would never know. He felt like turning back. Unlike the others, he had been close to the Wairere Falls before. His father had flown over the falls one Saturday morning a long time ago. Bob had sat in the Tiger Moth’s fertilizer hopper. He was so small he had barely been able to see outside. The falls were nothing new to him. He had only agreed to go along to be with Heather again. But she had failed to show up.
They reached the summit of the Kaimai Range and stopped to look at the view across the valley. From there the track turned to the north and descended half a mile to the top of the falls. But he didn’t want to be a drag on his friends so he told them he was going to turn back.
As he scrambled down the steepest part of the track alone he lost his footing on a slippery patch and tumbled onto a flat area below. His fall was interrupted several times by spindly trees and rocky outcrops. They saved him from serious injury, or perhaps even death, but he got a multitude of cuts and bruises on his face and limbs. For a few minutes he sat examining his injuries and feeling sorry for himself. He was bleeding and some of his cuts needed cleaning. Nearby he could hear the sound of the waterfall through the trees. Further down he could leave the track and make his way to the stream where he could clean himself up. He started descending again at a slower pace.
Below the waterfall, he found a little used sidetrack leading to the stream. He slipped his clothes off and waded into the freezing water. Quickly, he cleaned himself and climbed onto the bank again. The sun was beaming in from the north and some trees provided shelter from the full blast of the wind. He was soon dry and although sore from the fall, he dressed and started walking back to his Hillman car.
His eye caught something at odds with the natural bush landscape. Everything around him, apart from the blue sky above, was cast in shades of green. But through the trees he could see something that was distinctly black, white and red, a lot of red. He went to have a closer look.
‘Good, God! What on earth are you doing here?’ he exclaimed as he recognized the black and white polka dot dress that Heather was so proud of. It was one of her favorites. She was asleep in the bush. Why on earth would she lie down in the bush wearing one of her best outfits? She didn’t move as he approached. Then he saw her bruised and bloodied legs. She too must have had an accident. Her dress was torn to shreds and soaked in blood. The lower part of her torso was exposed revealing her private parts for all the world to see.
‘Heather! Oh Heather! What’s happened?’
He looked for her face. It was gone. The lovely face and smiling eyes no longer existed. He wondered if he would soon wake up from a dream. Her beautiful face had disappeared into a bloody pulp. Only a few strands of unbloodied blond hair and the polka dot shreds told him that he was looking at the dead body of his beloved Heather.
A short distance away he recognized her white high-heel shoes. He had bought them for her only a few weeks earlier. The sun reflected from something bright under a nearby tree. It was the locket on a chain that he had given her as a prelude to an engagement ring. He picked it up, studied it for a moment and stuffed it into his pocket. She would have wanted him to have it back again as a reminder of the wonderful times they had shared.
Scattered around were a number of broken and bloodstained sticks and branches. Someone had used them to bludgeon her to death. Who could have done such a thing? Surely he was dreaming. Tears came to his eyes and a lump to his throat as he knelt beside her. Her skin was cold and the blood was starting to congeal. Big blow flies crawled all over her.
Suddenly he felt sick. He panicked.
Bob Asker started running. Heather was dead and nothing could ever bring her back. He wanted get as far from that horrible scene as he could, and as fast as he could. He didn’t know why. He had to run. If he kept running away it might not be true. He got to his car, started it and drove furiously. He heard a siren behind him and he looked in the mirror. Traffic Officer Russet was right on his tail, demanding that he stop. Panic-stricken, he drove on at high speed . . . .

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Sunday, 15 June 2014

A DEEP THINKING MAN

How beer enhances our thinking

What deep thinkers men are. I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said, 'Nothing'. 

The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would have said, 'About what?'  At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?  Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.  
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.   Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.   A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, 'It might be nice to have another child.'   On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, 'You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.' I rest my case.  Time for another beer.

Freddie Fuddpucker was that kind of man

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