WORLD’S LONGEST TUNNEL
Shock announcement: The world’s longest tunnel to be built Downunder
In a shock announcement, today, the New Zealand government says it will soon call for tenders for the construction of the world’s longest road and rail tunnel.
The Kaikoura Tunnel in the South Island will carry four lanes of road traffic, two lines for rail traffic and a cycleway for tourists. It will run from Hundalee in North Canterbury to just south of Blenheim near Cook Strait and will pass beneath the Seaward Kaikoura Range. At 157 kilometres long it will be exactly 100 kilometres longer than the just completed Gotthard Base Tunnel in the Swiss Alps.
In a joint press conference, a few minutes ago, the Prime Minister Bill English, Minister of Infrastructure Gerry Brownlee and Transport Minister Simon Bridges said that the $84 billion project would be funded from the sale of Lotto tickets. They said they had been working on the plan all night in Bellamy’s Restaurant and the tunnel would open to traffic with fireworks displays and a national holiday on the 5th November 2020.
United States President-elect Donald Trump has already offered to send Barrack Obama and Hillary Clinton as prison labour, along with 10,000 Mexicans and 15,000 Muslims. Mr Trump also said he could recommend a Russian man who would be an excellent project manager.
Mr English also said that the tunnel would be built to withstand an earthquake measuring up to 11.5 on the Richter Scale. It would therefore be the world’s first indestructible structure and would resemble an underground version of the Panama Canal with its series of lochs, in this case with a series of fire-proof doors. The massive steel doors would be known as Titanics.
Mr Brownlee said it is the only way for New Zealand to have earthquake-proof roads and he would put his weight behind more being built in the future. Mr Bridges was a little less upbeat, however. Apparently because, after agreeing to the scheme, he realised that with tunnels there will be no need for bridges.
