Saturday, 23 May 2015


Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) – Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.
The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.

“These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”
More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”
While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.
While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.
Peter’s Point of View

So that’s the scientific world and climate change according to Andy Borowitz (pronounced Borrow Wits).

Meanwhile, millions of ordinary, down-to-earth people with sound home-grown logic and reasoning built on lifetimes of worldly experience are saying that many climate change scientists are so focused on their tinted microscopes that they fail to see the wider picture.

They can’t see the facts that stare them in the face and how the world climate has always been changing, and with much wider variations than anything that even they are predicting; sea levels changing hundreds of metres, temperature changes enough to rid the world of all ice to a world almost completely under ice, and winds and floods where infinity is the limit.

But some climate scientists seem to think that not only is man responsible for the weather, but that weather was invented by man, and before man there was nothing.

This writer must agree with the first part of the Logsdon quote, “Our research is very preliminary . . . .” However, there is no basis for the claim, either in science or down-to-earth logic that the world will run short of food as the climate warms. A warmer climate will bring more land into useful production than a colder climate.

The Borowitz Report shows the desperation of the climate alarmists to be believed and to discredit those who are in touch with the grass roots of the world. They are a new strain of the human species not seen since Magellan’s crew proved that the world is round by returning home from the opposite direction.

This new species of human that is threatening business and employment, health and happiness, and alarming young children out of their wits, I call them Homo sapien micro-perceptus dipstickus, and unfortunately with the government funding that they have secured, eradicating them will take nothing less than a plague of cane toads, green anacondas and man-eating cockroaches in every climate change laboratory worldwide.  

Forget Borowitz. Read some real fiction!